Wednesday, August 04, 2010

ZEKE XX: Memoirs of my First Retreat

As I go alone last night in my room, I decided to clean my cabinet of the dirt and useless things that must go to the bin already. As I go through the filth of the past, I have gone past these letters that I received on my retreat with my Batchmates 5 years ago. I look back at their notes and realize, Matagal-tagal na rin pala...

The retreat of ICPS Batch 2006 happened at Don Bosco Retreat House, Batulao, Batangas last December 2005 (I'm not sure of the exact date). Boys gone there first before the girls. And so, for them, the boys, it was not really a retreat. I remembered our Retreat Master in total dismay at the end of the Boys' Retreat. Why? He observed our behavior during the course of the retreat, well... NO COMMENT.

Actually, I cannot remember already every part of the retreat, considering that it happened 5 years ago. But I remember certain songs were taught, like Times of Refreshing and Ito ang Langit. Activities were also given. And also the favorite part, the Snacks! We were taught the essence of prayer, and real meaning of the Catholic Faith. However, there are times when the batch were in their prank mood. Pa-trip-trip lang, kung baga. I just knew that they are just enjoying the time that they were there.

Of course, there are crying times. Hindi na mawawala yun. On the last night of our Retreat, I heard the sobs of my classmates while reading the letters of their mothers. I have my share of it. I thought that my mommy would not write a letter for me because she was always mad, when all of a sudden, my Religion Teacher, passed on an envelope to me on that night. It was from mommy. The content was a very touching one. I had the natural defense... crying. My mom was there for me all throughout. In response, I wrote a letter of thanks for her for everything she did for me. I never received that letter again. I don't know where it is now, or even if it was given to my mommy, I don't know.

The Retreat ended with a Mass. One thing was heard in the Chapel towards the end of the Eucharistic Celebration: Gagraduate tayo!!! I know, this came from the bottom of their hearts, and with smile on their lips. I know, that they have this certain outlook in life, though we have different attitudes. And the outlook is this: They have dreams to achieve, and they will reach it no matter what.

Before we left the Retreat House, we received the other letters which came from our teachers and fellow classmates. Before we left for the retreat, I handed over to my teacher the letters I wrote, and those which I received before the retreat, knowing that it would not grow in numbers. However, when I received my envelope labeled, "Collection of Letters", there were added letters. I did not expected it. As we rode the bus back to Malabon, I read the letters one-by-one. These led me again to tears.

I never thought...

For a student like me who has been considered lunatic through my high school years, to think that I even have friends is worth it. Hindi rin naman pala ako nag-iisa noong mga panahong iyon. There are still people who cared for me though they continue to bully me all throughout those time. I just did not noticed it, but there are still guys out there who appreciated my every good move for them. I was the atchay of the batch. I thought that this was even a way of their bullying, but I was wrong.

That changed my impression of my classmates then. Hindi naman pala silang lahat ay ganoon. And at one point, I thought that they still love me despite my impression to them. They saw my growing up, from a crying boy, to a tough teenager. And they are impressed. (I would end my thoughts there, I would reserve some for the Birthday Essay)

And so, as I look back on their letters, I can't help but cry. As I am only days away from my birthday, the letters reminded me that there are still some people who would care for me. May babalikan pa ako sa ICPS. I know that.

To end the post, my cleaning mission ended worthily. Some have gone their way to the bin, others stayed because of their sentimental value. I slept last night, knowing that my day has been done well and good.

To date, this is my Ninth Post. Only nine posts away from the Two Great Posts of the year: the Birthday Essay and the Three Wishes. Continue to be with me as I count the days away to A19. Peace!!!

KuyaZeke,ccs_080410 :)

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