Tuesday, August 16, 2011

BiTZ...DaBhezt@21: KUDOS!!!
(The Birthday Essay 2011)


When somebody says KUDOS, it means the person is expressing a deep and profound praise for something. It means he is giving thanks for a special event, thing or person. How deep or shallow the reason may be, what's important is that the person expresses every possible acclaim in as short as a five-letter word.


As I welcome another year, and have a debut on DaBhezt of LIFE, let me share with you my way of expressing the gratitude which is overflowing from my heart for the past twenty years which shaped my humor, attitude, love and everything else. Event after event, memory after memory, all these had left an imprint on my personality, which motivates me all the more to shout out the best possible word suitable for the year that has been.

KUDOS... for the gift of the Church!

Ten years of life spent in God's service as a choir member, guitarist, legionary, altar server, volunteer catechist,  lector, and Worship Ministry member. That's how far God has been with me on the journey as a lay. Lots of twists, controversies, and self-discoveries in and out of the community had decorated my service to God and his Church. These made me strong as a lay servant and an ordinary Christian in the Community.

I may have been taken as a garlic - sahog sa anumang ulam - but being garlic means having and using God's special gifts, something which I thank God for. Add to that the numerous people of the parish community of whom I also offered service. They continuously serve as my mirror through which I reflect on how far I had been when it comes to my ministry. Don't forget to mention those priests who had been close friends of mine during their stay in our parish. They became my constant guide all throughout.

I really suppose that kung hindi ako naging isang lingkod ng Simbahan, ay mas lalong walang linaw ang buhay ko ngayon. What I cannot understand in this life, God teaches me through the Church. He leads me continuously to service, and in his grace, he takes my hand to where I am supposed to be. I am always proud that I am a Laycong-Lingcod!

And so KUDOS for the Gift of the Church, because BiTZ...DaBhezt!

KUDOS... for the gift of Education!

I remember my first days in CMU, when I don't know how does the system run. Being a newbie in tertiary education, I didn't have enough strength and will to carry on. I stood as a leader, but still received much frustrations. I stood as a cadet under the heat of the sun, and yet I decided to bloom and get out of the nutmeg. Three years have passed and I took on the worst plunge in my entire life, with six failing marks.

But after the fall, I decided to stand up, face my deepest fears and succeeded through the failure of the past. I met much people, welcomed stress to my veins, and yet enjoyed every single moment. I had achieved again the prime of my student days, as if I was four years younger. Now, I know how hard and serious college life is, being a future educator. I know the secret: Just enjoy!

Thanks to the administrators who still knew that I can and gave me a chance despite my failures. Thanks to my classmates and professors who believed in me and welcomed me through everything. Thanks to my students who believed in me and welcomed me to their classroom and to their hearts. Thanks to every Ka-educ and  CMUnian who appreciated every hosting job, every joke, and every suggestion which I had given.

If ever I hadn't reached five years as a BSE student, I may have not experienced the best that College Life could give me. From being a renegade and rebel, I transformed and became one of the immortalized names in the College of Education of CMU. Not writing of my achievement, but this is where the Lord took me: through a road of bricks and stones, towards a horizon of blooming flowers, chalks and writing boards. My resource teacher asked me if I am decided to pursue teaching, and I say, Opo, ma'am. Pagkatapos po ng lahat ng pinagdaanan ko? Handa na po ako...

KUDOS for the gift of Education, because BiTZ...DaBhezt!

KUDOS... for the gift of Teaching!

I was led by will to a high school to observe on how a typical teacher conducts his/her classroom instruction. But what was supposed to be an observation job turned out to be a memorable experience. My past endeavor with the senior students of Malabon National High School and my present undertaking with those at TaƱong National High School can be really considered among the memorable events that happened in my life.

I witnessed how students can become a pain in the neck and a lovable mob. I saw how the students care and abuse the teacher's likable temper and how the teacher manages a truckful of teenagers with animal-like behavior. I learned new words from them, and they saw my wacky management. They saw me get mad, and I saw them laugh.

Nevertheless, I love these students. I love them, not because of anything else; I love them as a real teacher loves them and cares for them. I believe that they can succeed in the future, and that whatever they may be soon, they do deserve it because they'd worked hard for it. They are my realization that being a teacher is beyond the mere word, and that Education is the best tool for young minds to excel and become fruitful. They are the reason why I love teaching!

KUDOS for the gift of Teaching, because BiTZ...DaBhezt!

KUDOS... for the gift of Writing!

Blogging, news writing, and opinion writing. I accepted these challenging ideals because of my love for writing. Actually, I hate writing in my childhood days, and I never thought of actually maintaining jobs which would require writing. But this hate was transformed into a passion, and now I write about just everything!

From being a nowhere site, this blogsite had reached five years and is still serving as my voice in the world of discrimination. Many criticisms were smashed upon my person and upon my blogsite because of ideas which they couldn't accept, but still I survived and now continue to share ideas with the rest of the blogosphere.

It led me to writing community news for the Parish Paper (Timbulan), and opinion writing for the School Paper (The Current). I am still a newbie in the field, but the experiences it bring takes me to a new dimension. I'm not only writing for myself anymore; I'm writing for the community, for everyone's information and entertainment.

I enjoy writing, as long as the mood takes me there. I love sharing sentiments, giving information, and making everyone aware that somewhere, a typical boy is shouting out everything that he has to say. If there is something I could be proud of, it would certainly be this, that I could write myself out, and be proud that I had written something.

KUDOS for the gift of Writing, because BiTZ...DaBhezt!

KUDOS... for the gift of the Family!

I lived my life in the midst of a mother, a father, a brother and three sisters. We carry one name, Panganiban. Though I was seen differently in the past, with hot hands and unusual behavior, I was still able to cope up and make my name, though they are there or not.

Nevertheless, I have witnessed how one person sacrificed a lot for me, how does she continue to defend me in every family fight, how does she reprimand me in times I do something wrong, and how does she respond to emergency situations like the one when my hand was lacerated. She provides everything for me, as well as for my broods and sissies. She sees to it that everyone is provided.

I love her above everyone else. For me, she is family enough. For me, she is one of the reasons why I continue studying, for me to pay back and help her with the family chores. She always keeps me reminded that I am the person I am trying to be, so I must build it up properly. She is my first love, treated cruelly in the past and frustrated at my every failure, and yet loved form the depths of my heart.

She is my mom, and for her I continue living. She is my complete family. I thank God all the more for her, and I promise I would do my best for her. As for the others? Bahala sila sa buhay nila...

KUDOS for the gift of the Family, because BiTZ...DaBhezt!

KUDOS... for Standing Strong!

Who had said that this year was only joy-sided? This year also served as a witness to much sadness and frustrations which defined the rainbow that was my 20th year. I was mistreated, misunderstood, bruised to the bone, and even spelled away because of favored criticisms. Nevertheless, I stood strong.

I stood strong when my father, sister and brother neglected and persecuted me because I am way different from their ideals. I stood strong when a catholic online group called me sarcastic and in need of a psychiatrist. I stood strong when I took rebellion against my family. I stood strong when the priest threw false issues against me. I stood strong when my professor took my name on an issue which I don't know. I stood strong when I was seen as way different from the rest and mistreated like a real psychotic.

I stood strong, and yet it taught me a lesson: I should not trust or love anybody instantly. I should be more careful in everything I do. I should see to it that my voice is heard. I love receiving insults and butt-ups, since it makes me stronger while struggling to make a name of my own. But I must reflect more on the reason why I was insulted, treated like a stupid, or even neglected. I know there is a reason for all of these, and it would lead me to a better me.

Yet, I extend the best praise for these things. I know this would lead me to a better appreciation of life, and a stronger link with God and others. This makes me more acquainted with myself, and more presentable to others. Hindi magiging Weldann si Weldann kung hindi siya nadarapa at nagkakamali. At salamat sa Diyos dahil sa mga pagkakamaling ito dahil may pagkakataon akong magbago at maging Weldann na nais ng Diyos.

KUDOS for Standing Strong, because BiTZ...DaBhezt!

KUDOS! BiTZ...DaBhezt!!!

I have passed the first twenty years of life! I am putting to end the chapter of my childhood and adolescence, and as I turn 21, I begin another chapter as an adult, ever-prepared to face the world and take adventures I have never experienced before. I would be introduced to more places, get in-touch with new faces, and take for myself greater memories which I never relished in the past due to my young stature.

The future has a lot more in store for me, may it bring positive or negative fruit or both. For me, I am always tasked to do these gifts, and recognize the Divine in these. It may lead me to better realizations, and bear witness to the prowess that I have inside. People and experience may help me, but still I am on my own when it comes to executing decisions which could develop me and become a better person. The future is just there, and I am ready to face it. 

I do fall and sin, and yet I know this is God's way of teaching the right things to do. I speak my voice, and yet time comes where I enter in myself to listen to God's voice. I act and people appreciate it, but I offer the appreciation not to myself but to God. In other words, God is the reason why this life Bitz...DaBhezt!

And so, I offer the greatest KUDOS to God for everything - just everything - that he gave me, from the gift of life itself to everything that comes with it. Kudos to Him for bestowing upon me the grace of living in this exile, and showing His will in every situation that I pass through. I have learned much through His guidance, and I hope I may have more of His providence.

Likewise, I entrust the coming year to His great providence. I know the coming year would be more of a roller coaster ride, and I give to His knowing eye my life of joys and tears. I pray that He continuously rule over my everything, and to everyone around me. I know that this coming year would begin and end in His grace, and that he would never leave me alone.

I begin the twenty-first year of my life, and so I pray...



08 16 2011AD


  1. Anonymous1:11 AM

    congratulations! galing! and happy 21st bday!

  2. Anonymous10:45 PM

    You're so great!
    How i wish, all your dreams also will come...
    Rech it no matter what,Just have faith in yourself & in God more importantly!

  3. Second Comment:
    Whoever you may be, thanks for the sentiments. I cannot do this with God's help, at alam ko naman na Siya ang may dahilan ng lahat. Thanks!