ZEKE XX: My life after the resignation

After two months, this would be the first time that I would speak about the resignation I had from the Parish Pastoral Council - and with that is my total removal of self from my ministry- of Santa Cruz Parish.

In the first place, I keep asking myself, Am I worthy enough to resign? The whole parish community needs me. When I leave the Council, they would have a loss of a guitarist, a lector, a secretary, a formidable brain. Why leave?

But my answer was worth it. I must leave for me to show something to the people there...

They can live without me, and they always will be.

Yes, that could possibly be the reason. For the past years, I wholeheartedly served the parish community, from being a simple legionary, to being the secretary of the Worship Ministry; from being a server to being a lector; from being a simple churchgoer to somebody who is in-charge of some sorts in the parish. Yes, it is hard work, but it is work done without any regret for it is done for God's greater glory.

But at one point, there are senseless scandals that hit the airwaves. From being a bloodsucker of the priest, to being a garlic clove (amm, sa tagalog: ma-papel) which always fits and trying to fit any work done in the parish, some of which doesn't require my presence.

That served as the turning point. For the past six months, I experienced a hard time coping up with some of the members of the PPC - even Fr. Junjun himself - who, despite my efforts to be good, are still pinching me at the back.

Much worse is the words of remorse I heard from somebody who was once close to my heart. I tried to give my all, to the point of six failing marks in class, just to give my prim and prop to the parish. At the end of the day, he has the strength enough to tell me that I'm his cross all the while.

That gave me the signal.

I should stop. From my dreams, aspirations, and my tell-alls with the parish community. I should stop with my hallucinations that I'm the superserver. Everything ends here.

I must go on. With my silent life, a kind of life that I have not experienced for the past six years of service. Something which is new to me.

What's life been after the resignation? Let me give you a glimpse...

I returned to my Neo Catechumenal Community after a year of despising them. Just in time for the Shema. Now, I have no regrets, and I feel like God has brought me to the right path. Seems like this is my way of life now.

I focused more on studies. I'm under MoA with the Admin of the College where I'm in, and I strive hard now to finish my course, and to be a future teacher sometime.

I became more focused to the CCS Brothers, especially with my fraters at the CAMANAVA Community. A resolution was passed last Sunday, which would serve as a guide for us here to live rightly in holiness.

Most of all, I'm sleeping hard, cleaning hard, and doing back my worth at the house. My family has been waiting for me for all this time, and for them, this means something. I still love my house, my home, my comfort zone.

In shorter terms, life after resignation was like the most relaxing time for me, a time for me to rest. I now know that there are still plenty to give focus on. And to the goes my full attention now. a time to sit down, relax a bit, and work for things that really needs my focus the most. No regrets, I even got chubby! :P

Now, everything is clear. Though I experienced hard time within the past year, Seems like clouds are coming clear. At the end of the day, I would never regret the moment I listened to God speaking in my heart. It spoke and said,

It's to late to have your realizations...
but it is never too late to change and fix yourself.

KuyaZeke,ccs_072110 :)

ZEKE XX: What it is without water?

As I was passing by the market on the way to school, I read the headline in the Philippine Daily Inquirer. It says there, "JUNE WAS HOTTEST MONTH EVER."


According to the news, the global land and ocean temperatures reached 61.1 degrees farenheit (or 16.2 degrees celsius), a way higher than the recorded temperature in 1880.
(http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/world/view/20100716-281454/June-was-Earths-hottest-month-everUS-monitors)

That could possibly explain why I was drenching on my own sweat while resting on those hot afternoons in the house, or why my professor's voice get drenched out while teaching Remedial Instructions in English.


But most of all, that would explain the main reason why the Angat Dam fell - and is still - on its record low level. That's the reason why we are thirsting for water, when we cannot have access to it. That's the reason why there are pails and drums parked in the streets, waiting for the ration for water. That's the reason why there is the so-called WATER SHORTAGE.


Now, look at what we've done.


For somebody who have put their life in water so much that he abused it, now look at the outcome. At one point, we blame the people in-charge of the water supply, why they have let the supply go a drastic low. They blame the in-charge of the dam for negligence, and the blaming continues. Look at the blame comedy!


But at one point, there are still reason to blame us commoners for this catasthrophe. For how many times throughout the last two or three decades, we are told to conserve water, to take care of our environment, and to suffer the consequences if we do not take action for this.


Well, it seems as if we opt to choose the third option, to continue our wrongdoings against Mother Earth and sit down and wait for the hitback.


Ladies and Gents, here is the outcome we have all been waiting for. Continue to sit there and do nothing? Wanna help these old women lift their heavy carriage? All these, they suffer because of our wrongdoing.


Don't just sit there and do nothing. Save water while there is still a supply worth for you!

KuyaZeke,ccs_072010

ZEKE XX: 19 is equal to...

my 19th year was the most colorful of all my teenage years, and it is by far my year of lessons and blessings.

For one, it is just a year of my many pitfalls, but for me, it is a year of many firsts. So many, I cannot count them all. If I can, I may forget the date or something.
However, I would let you take a glimpse of all these firsts as I give you my very first blogpost for ZEKE XX.

...Nineteen is equal to...

...the first time I was treated to a foodielicious feast before, during, and after my BDay. (Aug. 18-20, 2009)

...the first time I had a bicycle of my own. Its name is red. (September 2009)
...the first time I took a month leave from parish work, out of my own decision. (September-October, 2009)
...the first time I slept in my Director's quarters in KNL. Worth! (February 2010)
...the first time I received a gift in Christmas Eve, during the Mass, from a priest. (Dec. 24, 2009)
...the first time we ate fish for Media Noche. I just ate the salad, hindi kasi ako sanay. (Jan. 01, 2010)
...the first Living Rosary held in our Parish with me as member of the Team heading it. (October 2009)
...the first time I had a MP4 after years. Included with it is the first time I ever had a get-up: a big headset worn around my head, like a DJ! ROCK ON!!! (Summer 2010)
...the first time we ever held a Caracol in the Parish in celebration of the Fiesta. Isa rin ako sa mga nanguna rito. (May 08, 2010)
...the first time I ever held a Linux. We changed to Vista because of its being complicated. (March-May, 2010)
...the first time I ever received my best summer gift: 6 failing marks! Bummer of all bummers! (March, 2010)
...the moment I came back to the Neo Catechumenal Way, the First after two years, and just in time for the Shema. (May, 2010)
...the first Time I served as MC of the Parish. A Fulfilling moment in my life as a server. (Holy Week 2010)
...the first time I wholeheartedly took charge of the store, amidst all the intrigues. (May-June, 2010)
...the first time I answered a question in Formspring.me (April, 2010)
...my first year in Facebook! (June, 2010)
...the first time I resigned in the PPC to make way to my studies. First, because hindi naman ako used sa mga bagay na ito. (May, 2010)
...my first time to handle a class. Ang saya ng Field Study, and I miss my students at MNHS-Longos! (January-February, 2010)
...the first time to drink HOT SAUCE and CHILI SAUCE bottoms-up, to win in a challenge! (July, 2010)
...my first time to drink liquor because of tight problems. (May, 2010)
...my first time to flirt good. I used the term wisely. Flirt means socialize ha! (Summer, 2010)
...my first time to judge a dance contest. Well, kamusta naman ang overnight? (May 05, 2010)
...my first time to meet a great composer, Mr. Vehnee Saturno. (May 11, 2010)
...my first time to have a singing icon as my sister. Keep it up, dete! (May 06, 2010)
...my first time to see Noynoy Aquino personally after Tita Cory's demise. This time, he's running for the Presidency. (Feb. 25, 2010)
...the first time I had a good fight with my son, Diosdado. We split up. (May 2010)
...the first resolution I made for the brothers at CCS-CaMaNaVa. (July 18, 2010)
...the first time I made a day-out because of house problems. (July 01, 2010)
...the first liturgical book I personally typed for the parish. My "Legacy..." (March 2010)
...my first encounter with Asian Youth. YASIA FIESTA!!! (November, 2009)
...my first time to host the birthday program for a parish priest. (November 08, 2009)
Most of all,
...my first time to experience desertment. a complete desertment. (Summer 2010)
...and my recovery afterwards. Thanks God for getting me up from the dirt! (May-June, 2010)

These, among others, are the things I experienced first-hand through my nineteenth year of life. I would never turn out to be who I am right now, if not because of the experiences I had.

Now, that I'm already on my last month as a 19-year-old-er, there would be pahabols. We'll post it later.

This is just the FIRST post. More will follow throughout the course of 31 days. Be with me, guys!

KuyaZeke,ccs_071910

ZEKE XX: The Opening Post

With this post, I officially begin the series of anticipation posts for my BDay on August. Let me reminisce and share with you my trials and triumphs throughout the past year of giving it out, sharing it all, and living it up.

Be with me, guys! ZEKE XX IS SIGNING ON!!!

KuyaZeke,ccs_071910

the Message of the CCS (made by yours truly) for the Holy Week 2010

My dear brothers and sisters in Holiness!

"We must now pass through the first veil and approach the second, turning our eyes towards the Holy of Holies. I will say more: we must sacrifice ourselves to God, each day and in everything we do, accepting all that happens to us for the sake of the Word, imitating his passion by our sufferings, and honoring his blood by shedding our own. we must be ready to be crucified." (St. Gregory Nazianzen)

In the days to come, we shall commemorate once again that saving day, that saving night, in which the Lord Jesus gave his life for us, thus giving more life to our dying souls.

It has been nearly two thousand years already since Christ gave his life for our sake. Lots of generations had passed, martyrs had given their lives, the faithful continued striving hard for holiness...

... and still, it is just the beginning of the story.

As Christians, we continue to live by our beliefs and traditions brought about by the saving death and resurrection of Christ. Something that, for us, means unwavering hope for the despaired, forgiveness for the sinner, salvation for all.

But, let us heed the words of Saint Gregory Nazianzen: We must... be ready to be crucified. Now, more than ever. It is not only enough that we believe, we hear, and we see. As those who were saved, it is our duty to proclaim, and to live what we believe. We must be ready to offer our lives after the pattern of the One who offered his life for us all.

And so, my dear brother and sisters, whatever situation we are undergoing right now, let us always remember that Christ is always with us, guiding us to be ourselves the offering to God. Let us not be discouraged by the events that are degrading our human nature; instead, we must have that unwavering courage to face it, its fruits and consequences, its totality. we must be ready to die, if we know that it was from Holiness, and it would lead to Holiness.

Like the Saints who came before us, we must follow the Way of the Lord, without any ho-hums, and any hesitations. Let us open our eyes to the world, work within it, face everything it might bring, and have faith and hope that the Lord would guide each and everyone of us.

Let us pray for each other, in the spirit of perseverance. May we climb the holy mountain of Death and Crucifixion, hoping that we would reach the peak of the Resurrection, with joy in our hearts. May Mary, the Queen of Sorrows, teach us to bear all sufferings patiently so that one day, we may receive the crown of triumph before the Lord.

With our Director, I am always One with you!
Fra. John Ezekiel Maria,ccs

da Gud Old Deyz... Post No. 2

this pic serves as the second memoir of the Gud Old Deyz... This was taken with the pioneer CCS Fraters in February 2007.

Then, we were only six fraters. Now, we are still six, coupled with seven or sight scholars, and lots of cooperators here and abroad. Now, that's a family.
Then, there were Dave, John Felix, Matthew, Roel, Lloyd, and me. Now, there are Francis Teresa Ma.,ccs (Dave), Tarciso Bonaventura Ma.,ccs (Lloyd E.), Joseph Pio Maria,ccs (Matthew), John Ezekiel Maria,ccs (me), Paul Lawrence Ma, (Adrian), and James Michael Ma. (Lloyd F.).
Then, they are just a simple parish organization. Now, we are making ways and means to become a religious institute, embracing the Evangelical Counsels.
Then, we are just a simple group... devoted to promoting saints and their relics. Now, we are still a simple group... only that we want to deepen our spirituality and holiness.

Why a Part of the Gud Old Deyz?
simple. The CCS is a part of my Tripod since 2006. My ministry became more deep because of their unwavering support and prayers. It's not just an organization. The CCS is a community, a community of love, prayer, and simpleness.

JoEzeMa,ccs :)

All about Ash Wednesday...

I Took this post from my Frater Director's Blogspot (fradave.blogspot.com). Regards to him. This post would be followed by my Ash Wednesday Experience, to be posted tomorrow or on Thursday. In the meantime, please have the pleasure of being informed of everything about that day that starts the season before the Season.

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The 40 days journey towards the mountain of Paschal Triduum[1] starts on Ash Wednesday. Holy Mother Church invites her children to enter the door of Sacrifice and Penance through prayer, fasting and abstinence, and almsgiving. Starting this day, the Gloria and Alleluia will not be sung (unless on a Solemnity). The instruments in rest and songs are in the solemn atmosphere.

Ash Wednesday is unknown in the Eastern Church, and developed only in the West. Ash Wednesday as an official fast day dates to at least the 8th century, since it appears in the Gregorian Sacramentary from that period. Originally, Ash Wednesday was the day when public penitents in Rome began their penance. Recall that in the early Church, penance was often public and protracted. It was only later that private confession and penance began, for pastoral reasons. When public penance gradually fell into disuse by the 8th century, Ash Wednesday became a day of penitence and fasting for all members of the Church. Today, Ash Wednesday is a universal Fast day in the Catholic Church.

"On the Wednesday before the first Sunday of Lent, the faithful receive the ashes, thus entering into the time established for the purification of their souls. This sign of penance, a traditionally biblical one, has been preserved among the Church's customs until the present day. It signifies the human condition of the sinner, who seeks to express his guilt before the Lord in an exterior manner, and by so doing express his interior conversion, led on by the confident hope that the Lord will be merciful. This same sign marks the beginning of the way of conversion, which is developed through the celebration of the sacrament of Penance during the days before Easter."[2]

The Mass starts with the sign of the cross and an introduction to invite the faithful to enter the season with contrite heart. The Penitential Rite is omitted, because the imposition of the ashes will be its substitute. After the homily, the Rite of Imposition of Ashes follows. The blessing and imposition of ashes should take place either in the Mass or outside of the Mass. In the latter case it is to be part of a Liturgy of the Word and conclude with the prayer of the faithful.[3]

The question we need to deal is on the requirement and manner of reception:

As what we have said before, the season of Lent is a time of fasting and abstinence as a way of sacrifice. The law states clearly that the age for abstinence starts at 14 and fasting and abstinence are for those who are 18 years above. One reason why with this age is because of the full reception of a person in to Christian life - already completed and received the Sacraments of Initiation.

Who can receive ashes? Christians, baptized, confirmed, and partaker of the Body of Christ. But according to some, baptism is enough, yes. But there must be a remedy for ignorance so that children, especially in toddler years, could receive ashes not because it is the “statement of the day”. Catechesis is needed to let children, of catechetical age, and parents may understand the significance of ashes in Christian life and spirituality of the season. A continuous Mystagogical catechesis will surely be of help for such age, and even oldies, to understand more the celebrations and spirit of the lenten season. Babies, who are baptized, may be exempted to avoid allergic reaction from the ashes.

The rubrics of the Sacramentary only say that the priest, after blessing the ashes, imposes it to the faithful. In some commentaries it is stated that the ashes are imposed in the forehead, putting some water in the ashes to make paste so that it could stay longer in one’s forehead.

In the Tridentine Missal, the rubrics gave its manner of imposition: First, for the priests and clerics, the ashes are given by putting it in their head (crown). The faithful follows and has an option to put also in the head or in their forehead (especially for those who are in tropical countries).[4] Observing what is being practiced in some countries especially in Rome, both the priest and the faithful receive ashes in their head either by sprinkling it or forming a cross in their head. In the Philippines, according to some, practice it by receiving it in their forehead (because it is part of the head, according to medical experts).

In my own opinion, following faithfully the Gospel, I think it will be nice to see, for those who would like to deepen their observance and make more meaning the celebration of Lent, to receive the ashes in their head (crown) without any distinction between priest and faithful. For in baptism, after we were reborn with the Water of Life, the priest anoints us with Chrism to show the dignity of our Christian life. As we grow older, that dignity is being stained with sins. I believe that the ashes, which have the penitential element, will be much more meaningful to receive it where we were anointed with the Chrism. The ashes will clean out the stain of sin in our baptismal dignity. This also implies the words of the Lord that those who sacrifice in secret will be rewarded by our Father in heaven.[5]

Furthermore, the faithful are to be encouraged to participate in an ever more intense and fruitful way in the Lenten liturgy and in penitential celebrations.[6] It is through our active participation in the liturgy and other Lenten practices we can attain the graces which this season will confer to us especially the new life that Christ will bring in his resurrection.

---

[1] Cf. Paschales Solemnitatis, 6

[2] Ibid, 21.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Rubrics, Ash Wednesday. Saint Joseph Daily Missal.

[5] Matthew 6: 16-21.

[6] PS, 15.

da Gud Old Deyz.... Post No.1

(This post would start the series of posts for this year, entitled "Da Gud Old Deyz...", that would reflect my joys and sorrows during these past 20 years. Please, take the pleasure of viewing my blogpost series...)

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As a jumpstart to the post series, let me share with you this picture of the Altar Servers of Santa Cruz Parish, then under Fr. Jun Erlano. It was taken sometime in the Summer of 2007.

Back then, we are not under so much pressure. Mando (3rd Row, extreme Right) served as the Assistant to the Parish Priest, while I (3rd Row, 6th from left) served as their secretary. Now, we are facing so much pressure... Mando left with Fr. Jun during the great leave of 2008, while I served as the secretary... of the Worship Ministry of the Parish.

Back then, Jayson (1st Row, the boy in the middle) was Grade 5, a newbie in the ministry. Now, he is in First Year High School, and at present, he is the Treasurer of the group.

Then, Aries (2nd Row, extreme left) was just an ordinary server, with no expectations. Now, much is expected from him, since he is the Assistant Coordinator of the Ministry, and so far, the oldest in the group.

From that picture to the present status of the Ministry of the parish, many changes occurred.
> Almost all of us were not already connected to the Ministry of Altar Servers. (I'm now connected with the Special Ministry of the Word of the Parish.)
> Those who looked young then... still looked young now... when they're asleep.
> Most importantly, Fr. Jun is not around anymore, he was replaced by Fr. Junjun de Guzman.

Why a part of the Gud Old Deyz?
It's simple. It served as a mirror of my past service to the community. back then, I was just a quiet server, trying to make my point in the community. That was six years ago...

Six years after, I made my point, and I'm working on it, eventhough it hurts, although it made me sacrifice a lot. What's important is I continue working for God, and for the Church.

That makes this pic a part of the Gud Old Deyz...

JoEzeMa,ccs :)

... 6 years of serving everybody ... (Feb. 01, 2004-2010)

6 YEARS. GRABE.

Who would have thought that a simple Altar Server like me would go on to become a Lector, and a member of the Worship Committee? As I look on the past 5 years, I ponder deep inside me and realize, OMG! I've gone a long long way...

as I turn six today, I look back on that day before I entered the MInistry of Altar Servers - and started serving the parish - and I see a Weldann full of excitement, of dreams and aspirations. I have one goal then: to change the way the servers think and do, to be a role model for everybody.

After series of lay-offs, changes in service, lots of scandals, and most of all, after the great diversion last year, EVERYTHING CHANGED. Both positively and negatively. But one thing is important...

WHEN YOU ARE SERVING, YOU DO NOT CONSIDER YOURSELF. NOT AT ALL. NOT EVER. YOU ARE A PROPERTY OF CHRIST. YOU ARE A PROPERTY OF THE CHURCH. YOU BELONG TO THE PARISH, TO THE COMMUNITY. WHETHER YOU ARE A SERVER, A LECTOR, OR WHAT.

Now, as I go on walking on the path given me, I ask the Lord to bless and guide me as I continue to do the office given to me: to proclaim, and to plan-out. I thank the Lord for sending people that would be my shepherds in this land of exile, most especially to Fr. Junjun de Guzman, the present Parish Priest of Santa Cruz. He has been my untiring mentor, disciplinarian, and most of all, an ever-loving and energetic guide. Because of him, I have gone the way up, yet looked the way down. Truly a servant, a shepherd of the flock...

Let's proceed... be with me... let's Serve together!

JoEzeMa,ccs :)

HNY.2010 experience...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!

Sadly, my sissie's cam was lost (not my fault) days before the change of year. How I wish I captured the sight, sounds, and joys of the New Year. However, the sights that I saw on the first minutes of the Second Decade of the New Millenium made a real consolation. hehehe...

The Fireworks of the minute that we saw in the neighborhood was scarcer than what we saw last year (well, parang aminado na yata yung iba na wala na silang pera pambili ng sosyal na fireworks), but that lighted the high spirit of hope in our hearts that the coming year would be a safer, happier, and more perosperous one.

Before the year ended, I came to be with the ones I love, as I started the year with them (Diosdado, Fr. Junjun and the SCP Family). And as well, during the final moments of 2009, and first moments of 2010, I was with the ones I love the most - my family. Truly, this was a moment of a real family bonding without compare.

High sounds ("Hallelujah" by Milk and Honey, of course) wrapped the revelry of the night, the TV tuned to Channel 7 (Kapuso talaga!!!), and all the lights on. Eventhough there was an electric surge two minutes before the NY, we still managed to have everything set within the last minute.

I thank the Lord that he'd let us pass between the two years in a very good shape. A Very good start to a Happy New Year,... and to a Very boring day.

After the first few hours, the reverse thing happened. The day turned blue, and it felt that it wasn't New Year at all. Parang it was just another Friday added with much pomp, trash everywhere, and nothing to do but rest, after the very long day.

It was a day of chatting (ym) and facebook. It was a day with my "anak", and my mommy.

It was really the HNY.2010 Day. It's just that I'd let the boredom in, making it just a friday. Anyway, what's important is this: the first minutes of 2010 for me was a happy one, hoping that it would extend till the next 364 days.

Asking myself, what is my wishlist for 2010?, here are my answers...

- A New Camera, mine and not borrowed, so that I could capture the priceless moments that 2010 has to offer.
- New friends with whom I can share old and new experiences.
- New studying habits, para at least maka-cope up ako with my mistakes, scholastically speaking.
- Spirit of humility and hard work so that I can do all the tasks and jobs that 2010 has in store with all humbleness and love.

and most of all,
- Lots and lots of love and support from everyone, more than I received last year. Hindi ako manhid, I just want more. hehehe.

With this, I end my post. I pray that the New Year would be as happy as it can be. And Blessed and Holy, too!

HNY.2010!!!

JoEzeMa,ccs :)