Sa Inyo, Mga Anak...

April 07, 2011

SA INYO, MGA ANAK...


PAX CHRISTI!

Before everything else, I would once again extend my deepest congratulations to all of you for a job really WELDANN! After four years of striving hard to grab that diploma, you have made it! You had stroked it hard amidst all the problems, and proved to the world that you, just like everyone, have the potential to be a somebody in the society someday.

From my humble beginnings, teaching has really been a part of my system. Not because I have some knowledge in my brains (and I doubt if I have any), but certainly because I would like to experience myself what it is to be a teacher, something which I really missed when I was in High School. Like you, I also have my favorite teachers who were really good in speaking the Language. Like you, I also had bad experiences before - the teasing of my classmates, my thirst for real friends, my desire to be somebody for everybody - which became my touchstone in deciding for my course. If there would be something which left an impact on me that made me decide to take up Educ, that would be my teachers, and my fellow students.

I never thought that I will be a part of your life as a senior student in MNHS. Inisip ko noong una na kayo ay ordinaryong estudyante lang din. There would be nothing in you that would concern me but the headache and annoying behavior that you have. In other words, dadaan lang ako, aalis rin ako. Besides, I am just a petty observer, nothing more, nothing less.

I fear pa nga that I would abandon you also, just like what I did in my former students at MNHS-Longos Annex in 2010. (don't hesitate to ask me if this isn't clear with you.) I have been their observer for only three weeks, leaving them and my resource teacher afterwards hanging in thin air. Takot ako na maulit sa inyo yung nangyari sa kanila. Mahirap mag-expect na matatapos ko itong field work ko.

But it did not go that way. I proved to myself that I was really wrong with my wrong hypotheses, because the twelve Thursdays which I spent with you turned out to be memorable, one of laughter, disappointment, jeers and tears. 

Good morning class. I'm Mr. Weldann Lester A. Panganiban, but you can call me SIR BITOY.

I can still remember your initial reactions then. Ano daw? Sir Bitoy? Bakit? Baka may kamukha siyang artista! Ahh... tama!!!  It seemed really odd to you that an observer would be taking the limelight and establish a rapport with you in his first day. It seemed funny that somebody whom you don't know became your acquaintance in first instance. In reality, I am surprised myself not only because I think it is wrong, but also because I am not sure if you all really welcomed me as I expected.

But nevertheless, that opened the door to the discovery of our own selves, me as an observer and you as students. 

First, for you students. Talaga nga siguro iilan na lang ang napipiling galangin ng mga estudyante ngayon, and I don't consider myself among them. Honestly, I am annoyed every time you don't listen to me, pay attention to the activity, and abuse the teacher-student borderline (alam yan ng Crimson). Every class has their own way of annoying me, and I hate it deep inside. But patiently, carefully, I tend to carry on amid it all. I tried to calm myself, and deal with the problem with a smile on my lips... kahit na mahirap.

As for me, talaga ngang mahirap nang magpa-impress sa kabataan ngayon. Some of you thought of me as a weirdo, others as an annoying observer who dwells into things which are not my business. Still others look at me as a clown, making himself funny in front of the class for them to be attracted. Also, being a newbie in the observation field, you also came to know of my misdemeanors: sitting at the teacher's table, promoting CMU without the permission from the Administration (No, Cranberry?), playing with this wooden logic game like a kid and speaking when I really didn't hear the responses of the students (Apricot! Ano nga ba'ng pangalan nung wooden game?), making fun at somebody's EAR and getting the trash around a cat's poo-poo (Burgundy!!!), and identifying the wrong mural (SPA!!! hahahahaha.....).

But the weeks passed, every Thursday morning spent both positively and negatively. We came to learn more of each other deeply, and at little strides we had tapped each other's borders, up until the point where we consider each other, not only as student with me as the observer teacher, but as mere friends. We laughed at each other's jokes and jeers. You listened to my advices and bits of information; I listened and tried to give the right answer to all your queries. 

All to the point where I realized, hindi naman dapat ganito, ah! My classmates were envious at me because of the attitude we were sharing, like it is beyond what is expected already. We are really close with each other.

And it was true indeed. My last Monday came with tears on each other's faces, but most especially on mine. you offered letters, songs (kanta lang, Apri and SPA), jeers and cheers on that day. It was really painful for me to leave you on that state. And up until now, I still carry the hardness of missing you and every Thursday that I spent with you. When at the first day, I am terrified at abandoning you, now I'm frightened at leaving you. But I did, and now I carry the big part of hard farewell... Ayoko pa talagang umalis!

Now that you'd graduated from High School, I know that you are also carrying a heavy heart because you don't want to leave MNHS yet. Four years spent in an institution which served as your home is no easy deal. You'd finished right, you'd grabbed your diplomas, but to face the reality that you're not studying there anymore is hard for you to endure for now. So, we're quits!

What really impelled me to write this letter (dramatic as it is) is the surprising reality that I am among the cluster of special people who made your stay in MNHS a memorable and colorful one. Based on the letters I received on my last day there, I am not just an observer teacher to some of you, but a friend who leveled himself with his students and made English a pressure-less subject (weeehhh...). For some, I am a potential in the teaching field, an asset because of my inert charm (talaga? saang banda?) and natural humor. It became easy for you to be related to me and to the subject, while there are still others who consider me as a frantic lunatic (Weirdo nga. Hindi makasakay.). 

For all these, two words... THANK YOU!

Thank you, IV-Apricot, for your real nature. I know that we have our own obstacles in understanding each other while I'm staying in your section, but all these melted away on the last day. I was wrong with my conviction that you are bright so you're hard to reach. Yes, nahirapan ako sa una dahil matatalino kayo, I thought that nobody appreciates me there. But my last day came and there you made me realize that I was absolutely wrong. Imagine, we came to the point that we've become instant textmates? Yes, it was hard to impress you at first, but you'd made me feel welcome when I was about to leave. Thank you for that.

Thank you, IV-Burgundy, for brightening my mornings! Being my first section to immerse in, the warm welcome which I received every time I am coming in your classroom makes me feel comfortable and at ease to continue my day. That's important for me, because you serve as my strength to carry on the day's tasks. Though you're camera-shy, your happy nature is imprinted in my heart. Thank you.

Thank you, IV-Crimson, for the negative attitude. I'm thanking that attitude not because I hate it, but because you served as my real training ground. Your jeers, your abuses, your misdemeanors... All these became a challenge for me. You see, I was able to carry you on until my last day. Oo, hindi ko kayo napagbago, pero alam kong nagtagumpay ako sa inyo dahil hindi ko kayo binitawan  at iniwanan hanggang sa huli. Thank you for that. You'll serve as my backgrounder in facing the future challenges in the field.

Thank you, IV-Cranberry, for your wacky character. I always say that you became a witness to my own wrongdoings; still you accepted me and treated me not only as a teacher, but as a barkada. You take off the negative vibes in me brought about by the long hours in the other classes, and change it with positive ones, strengthening me to carry on until my last period. Yes, other teachers don't understand you, but believe me, I also accept you guys as you are. I know that you have potentials in gaining the best in your life. Thank you and I became a part of your lives.

Thank you, IV-SPA, for being a family to me for the whole twelve weeks. My stay with you is truly memorable. Being Ma'am's advisory class, it is in you guys when I experienced how it is to be a real teacher, and adviser. You saw how I got mad at your very low grades, and how glad I am at knowing your every achievements. You were the first to taste my disciplinary juices, the first to listen to my quotes and advices (especially the Magic Five), and the first to be really a part of my life. I take pleasure of saying that you were the best batch of specialization students which I handled and took care of. I'm glad to be a part of the family, the SPAmilya!

Most of all, Thank you, Ms. Dolly Limpoco, for welcoming, guiding and supporting me in every step of the way as an observer. You'd let me move on my own, as long as you are there to correct me. You'd let me share my own views, make my own 'trial-and-error' in disciplinary measures, and in general, experience the real teaching thing, with all the criticisms and butt-ins on the side. You'd understood me as a real teacher does, encouraged me to give out the best in me, and made me realize that I should really act professional in front of my students. Thank you for all of these. I'd never forget all the lessons you taught me, and everything you did for my sake.

I'd also like to say SORRY to one and all for my every mismanagement, every undisciplined behavior, every bad word I uttered, every bad deed I did, and every bad emotion I shared. I feel guilty at times when I see a student who stares at me as if I'm an enemy because of something wrong which I did or said towards him. I can't bear the guilt anymore, so please take the mercy of accepting my apologies. 

Maybe, words would be really not enough to express the gratitude that I have deep inside my heart. It would be endless if I put in into writing, and it would still not suffice the gladness I have every time I remember all those memories spent with each and everyone of you. 

To all of you, mga minamahal na anak, take my words at Day 01: Two Disciplines: Discipline of the Mind and Discipline of the Heart. Knowledge is not enough in carrying on towards all your achievements. You also need tolerance, hardwork, dedication and divine Providence in order to be satisfied in catching the stars. Always work hard and pray hard so that you can reap rightly all your future harvests. Nothing could be more sweeter than the day when you reached your goals with your striving and with the help of the Almighty (Alam yan ng mga COFers, though I'm not one. I also admire my students who are a part of the Circle of Friends for your striving to have a close encounter with your friends and with the One Lord and God. Keep it up, COFers!).

And finally, mga anak. I would like to repeat my words when I was about to leave each class. I have no more dream for you than to see you graduate and achieve all your dreams in life. As your Observer Teacher, I know that all of you are destined for something. What's for you to do now is to discover that destiny. Study harder to reach your ambitions. Read every book, surf every site, write every note that would be contributory to the addition of your knowledge. I would like to see you sometime soon having a good job, giving the best for your families, and being contented with what God is giving you as fruits of your labor. Enjoy what it is to be in the real world, relish what would the fruit of your hard work sometime soon, and yet bow your heads in the sight of our God and accept everything as His will.  

With that, I end this short letter. Once again, Congratulations and keep it up! Thank you for making me a part of your lives, and I hope to see you soon happy and in the best of life!

I'd always be ONE WITH YOU...

SIR BITOY ')