I finished the AY 2009-2010 in remorse. I can remember my class cards then playing in a feast of numbers. Don't mind the other numbers, I made it easier for all: three 5.00's, three Unauthorized Withdrawals, and three Authorized Withdrawals. How sweet?!
Yep, it is really sweet for me. I considered myself loser way back then. You know the impression of being collapsed like a building? That's my exact definition of the flow of feelings which I felt at that time. At one point, I saw myself and my dreams in total shatters. I thought then that I cannot continue studying anymore. Like I was not really destined to be a real teacher someday.
But thanks to the prayers of concerned people, and the intervention of my parents and some caring professors, I am still able to finish my studies and reach my goals, even just for one last time. As of the moment, I am still bound by a Memo of Agreement, just one more failure and I'm really out of the game. Nevertheless, I utilized the moment, and took hold of the final chance while it is still there. And thankfully, everything fell into its right place.
And so, here comes AY 2010-2011. A school year full of more challenges, petty failures, farewells, laughter and success. Within the two past semesters, the CMU people, especially those at the College of Education, saw how I stood up amidst the ashes.
FIRST SEMESTER (June-October 2010)
It's a rough start for me, knowing that the comfort zone is still observing my every move. From my classmates who still made me a point of ridicule because of my failures last AY (Sodium Sodium...), to my professors of whom I carefully built my trust with again. It's a big deal for me, because aside from the burden of subjects of which I'm having difficulty of comprehension, I'm also facing the reality that by the end of the semester I'll be saying goodbye to the people who had been a part of my life for 3.5 School Years.
I started rough right, but this was the chance for me to show-off. I can never forget the Education Week of CMU last September. Everyone held witness to my emergence as a saint by day and hostess by night. (LOL!!!) I'm talking about the hosting job that I undertook during the said week, first as a real man, then a cross-dressed lunatic. Though it's hard, I'd left a big impression in the college that for a time, everyone is shouting, MOVING ON! as I pass by the corridor.
The last few months turned out to be an emotional one for me. I prepared way before for this, but iba pa rin pala kapag andito na. And true, it is really a hard thing for me. Good thing my friends are there to comfort me and to tell me that they would still be there for me. That I carry on up until now.
So, at the end of the Semester, I received a good mark for all of these subjects. It's still a feast!
SS103 - 3.00
ENG128 - 2.50
ENG126 - 2.50
EDUC 109 - 2.50
Feast alright. But for me, it's a good sign that I'm starting to emerge up, di nagmamadali. It was really a hard deal for me, but I am satisfied. However, I still have the great fear in my heart that I could still fail in the coming semester.
I proved myself wrong.
SECOND SEMESTER (November 2010-March 2011)
New semester, new classmates! That has been my perspective of the Second Semester. I have new attitudes to carry, new friends to mingle with, and new challenges to carry and pursue until the end.
The bad news? It's still the same set of subjects which I should take - the subjects which I failed two semesters ago. Since day 01, I am trembled enough at the reality that I'd be facing Play Production for the THIRD time. I am frightened at the foresight of a new set of students which I would abandon later. I am shaken at knowing that I'd really be making a newspaper this time. I have a terrible fear that I could do nothing but to bow my head and pray to God, May your will be done.
Play Production was successfully commenced with me on my job. I would tell you, my professor was really laughing at seeing me there, and the first thing she said was, Congratulations, gagraduate ka na!!! After our presentation, I just sat down, teary-eyed and yet smiling, knowing that the curse which I carried for the past three years was lifted and will not haunt me anymore. That was a memorable night for me.
Another memorable event was the twelve weeks which I spent with my students at Malabon National High School. They might not know this, but as I am teaching them, at the back of my mind were my former students which I abandoned before, some are studying now at CMU. And the thought of the time is, No, hindi ko na iiwan ang mga ito. And indeed, I did not leave them until the last day of my observation. It may be over-acting in my part, but who could blame me? I enjoyed every moment spent with them. I will not fail in saying that they are the best kind of students I ever handled. Ask them, they know it too. (weeehhh.....)
Show-off continues this Semester, with my acceptance of the post as Public Relations Officer of the English Society. One tough job, so they say, since it is my duty to inform the knowing public of the events within the society. It will be effective come next year, but the job begins now and it's a heavy one, not only for Mark Gil (the President) but also for us, the second set of officers to face the name game between the people above.
But that doesn't mean I'd left the other subjects empty-handed. I always remember that this is no time for child's play and everything must be done in its right order. Thus, I passed every assignment, ranked third highest (if there are any) in exams, recited and reported, until it's all over.
And so, when I expected that I would receive a near-failing grade of 2.50 or 3.00, I was wrong. I'd still have something to be proud of.
ENG109A - 2.25
ENG115 - 1.50
EDUC 113A - 1.50
ENG116 - 1.75
EDUC103B - 1.50
EDUC107 - 2.00
ENG118 - 2.00
PHILO101 - 2.25
a clear sign that I survived the fight and finished it to the greatest extent.
TOWARDS AY 2011-2012
So, AY 2010-2011 is over. It's gone and it left me standing. I did not only stand up after I fell hard... I stood up victorious. Everything's fine now, I hope so.
What lies ahead in AY 2011-2012? I believe it's more of a burden, a challenge indeed. Thesis on one hand, a book on the other, and student teaching in the center. All these for me to graduate and pass the course. I'd still have a lot to learn, things to discover, realizations to see and memories to cherish.
I'd not lie in premonitions, because I fear it won't happen. At the end, I raise my eyes to heaven and say, God-willing. You will be done, my Lord!
===
And so, I take this opportunity to thank everybody who had been a part of my life in the past Academic Year and made it colorful in one way or another.
> My past classmates, now BSE-English Majors Batch 2011.
> My present classmates in BSE 3b (turning 4b), including the irregulars and my classmates in Playprod at BSE 2b.
> My ever-loving and caring professors, especially Dr. Arasad, Ms. Lia Domingo, and Ms. Juliet Sanopo.
> Ms. Dolly Limpoco and all my students at MNHS (IV-SPA, Apricot, Bugundy, Cranberry and Crimson).
> My barkada, Ghoy Ghang of Batch 2011, Walter and Carla of BSE 3b.
> My family, especially my mom who stood by me on trying times and believed in me on moments of joy.
> Everyone who watched over my victorious emergence from ashes.
> and My Lord and God who endowed divine Wisdom upon me to take on all the challenges in good faith and belief.
KUDOS!!!
SirBitoy.04062011 ')
Hi Sir Bits,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I want to greet you a very special Congratulations from me. When I first met you in our class in Apricot, I know that you're one of those bunch of students that pursue in studies more than the rest of us do for we are sometimes self-centered and ignorant; taking almost everything for granted because of the fact that we're always thinking "We're too young for that".
So, you, being a soon to be "real world teacher", will face more challenges in the path you have chosen to take. But as one of your students, I personally do know that you can take any bullets that life has to give. God has plans for every and of course for you, sir. I know you can stand up for every fall because you have to be a role model for us to follow.
It's not impossible for you to succeed in your field of study because you are a one good person and a hard-working one.
Thanks for the words of encouragement you have given to us.
God Bless Sir.
-Trisha Nicole
(IV-Apricot)
wishing you a good luck :)
Keep it up! ;-)
ReplyDeleteas always ... im proud of you.. keep moving.. adn never stop.. go out of your box.. learn, learn and learn.. and as you learn so many things..learn also to teach.. so others may get help from you.. You fly high but always keep your feet on the ground.. and most of all... offer everything for god's greater glory..
ReplyDeleteNicely put, bits. You're bouncing back indeed. Each of us have past that haunt us. You will never surely forget your failures. After all, God design our brain for us to think, and one element of thinking is comprehension. You need memory to comprehend.
ReplyDeleteThat's where real moving on starts: when you can face your past and say "i have forgiven myself".
Keep it with the blogs bits
Well Congrats! for your emergence from the ashes and I believe that we can survive the thesis writing, book writing and practice teaching. Gagraduate din tayo! At alam ko this time hindi ka na mgpa2iwan sa CMU! :p
ReplyDeleteThanks Sir Sa Lahat Ng Effort Mo Samin Kahit Sa Kaunting Time Mo Nagobserve Sa Amin Sa Lahat Ng Intern Na Napunta Sa Min Isa Ka Sa HIndi Namin Malilimutan Dahil Napaka ''O.A.'' Mo Lagi hahahaha HIndi Dahil Rin Kasi Ipinakita mo ung tunay Mong Ugali At Nagpakatotoo Ka Sa Mga Ginagawa MO Kaya Pag Wala Ung Adviser Namin Nakikipag Party Party Ka Pa Sa Amin Eh.. :)) Hanggang Ngayong Grad. Banmn Kasama Ka Parin Namin :)) Hehehehe Cge Na Sir Napapahaba Na Tong Comment Ko :)) sa susunod natin pagkikita SIR !!!
ReplyDelete