#UsadLang

A week after I turned 21, my eyes are now opened to the reality that is set before me... It may become savage.

... so, what's the best thing to do?

(My FB Status,  08262011)

Actually, I did not expect the start of my year to go like this. But it gave me much frustration, sadness, controversy and so much negative impact that I opened my eyes today only to say, Lord, sana maganda naman ang araw na ito!

And yet, the day still flew in with its bad fruit over my dirty and messy bod. Another issue here, and another bad sentiment there, and the mess of yesterday just everywhere. Na-holdap na nga ako ng ilang bagay noong isang gabi, ngayon hinoholdap pa pati ang kaligayahan ko! 

And it has taken my first week as a 21-ner to its worst. Most of the time this week, I tried to extend a profound smile but I can't because of so much negativity (except last Aug. 21, when I showed true happiness during BiTZ...DaBhezt@21: The Birthday Celebration!). Personally, I take this week as one of the worst weeks of the year, which happened to transpire during my 21st year of life. I can't help but show my true self during these days. When I was supposed to extend my great joy for another year, here I am facing very big trials.

So the question comes in... What's the best thing to do?

I was opening gifts after the debut with my Ghoy Ghang friends. We came to this little violet pouch which looked like a soap box, given to me by one of my 'anak' from the parish community. They were one in giving a hypothesis, Naku friend, Sabon iyan, o Condom; maliit kasi eh! When we opened the gift, they came out dumb and surprised. Napahiya naman kami sa regalong iyan, friend!

It is a gold-colored Rosary in a white plastic box, which is clearly seen from the transparent cover. The wetness depicted that it had been blessed just hours ago. It gave me much inspiration when I first saw it, and God did open my eyes to this spiritual weapon which came in a guise of a gift. Truly a blessing in disguise.

Every time I come home from a day of negativity, I see the Rosary in my altar and feel the consolation and strength that God is giving me on-the-spot. I can't help but pray and turn my recourse to God and Mother Mary for deliverance from the daily peril that the world is giving me. After a moment of prayer, I feel relieved and strengthened. I feel this special power from up there, like I'm more ready to face another day of negativity with a spirit of fervor and humility, something which I cannot receive from any earthly force, but only from God's providence.

I still have a hard time facing day-to-day challenges which comes in various forms and shapes. I still get exposed to such negativity that is grinding me to the bone, to the joints and even to my soul. My 21st year of life is just getting started and it is still on the blue of sadness and frustrations. But Deo Gratias, and Ave Maria, I know that through this bad environment, God moves; He speaks in my heart, and teaches me in the way I should go. 

I know this works.

(Footnote: I have a special message for J.R.  Don't worry. If God wills, you'll be there.)